Before moving in, she asked him one question.

“Any vices I should know about?”

“I don’t want to tell you, it’ll just get on your nerves.”

“Then you have nowhere to go but up.”

“I smell.”

“See, that’s not so bad.”

But, he smelled like delicious cinnamon rolls. Each morning, down the hall, she woke up salivating. It only grew worse, until one morning she was at the foot of his bed, knife and fork in hand, crazed expression on her face.

He had to move again. In an email, his new roommate asked, “Any vices I should know about?”