Hush little baby

Sometimes, when a couple is paying too much attention to their baby, I pretend it was stolen. The fussy little devil is just one in a streak of poorly escalating decisions. Petty theft, the register at gunpoint, then the good old Raising Arizona baby-plus-ransom routine.

But, this time, they are keeping the baby. Because this is real life. You can’t steal someone’s baby and sell it back. No, when you make a mistake, you ignore it for as long as you possibly can, living your life from that moment on as if the lie you’ve created is the honest-to-goodness truth.