These are the facts

Albert Einstein once said: “The best way for aliens to invade the earth would be as chemical-carrying mosquitos.” Once they heard that, they started working.

Now: Here I am, riding the subway to work, swatting away. Who knew anyone on earth could defeat these guys? As such, we don’t worry about it too much.

Why we should worry: These chemical-carrying mosquitos are still chemical-carrying mosquitos.

What we don’t know: What the chemicals do.

What I’ve just learned: The chemicals make us smarter and happier. The aliens are farming our productivity and technology for their own violent and malevolent intergalactic needs.