Who's in charge here?

My boss: not the brightest bulb.

“Dr Evil Omen”
The dark mask, the hood and cape.
Pointing at you from the propoganda posters.

He’s a dingus.

When we met, he was a joke.
He was trying and failing to steal people’s coffee orders.

“I’m Kimberley,” in his deep robotic monotone, trying to snag a vanilla latte.
The barista says “No.” Not without a smirk.

Truth is, I was embarrassed for him.
I never expected him to win me over.

Did he?

I bought him a coffee.

---

I have needs.
I need to be second-in-command.
I need to hatch wicked schemes and whisper them around the hideout.
Two drinks in (some liquid courage), I’ll convince you: this one is flawless.
We’re going to rule the world! (more needs)

Probably I’m a coward.
A not-so-humble serial side-kick.
To the dumbest of villains.

The dumber the better, mostly - let’s prop up this shmo!
We lift the leader onto the chopping block.
Let him meet the consequences, head-first!

In my leader, I need…

• end-of-the-world legs (No small-timers)
• someone who values loyalty highly (so we can hire more idiots)
• someone who will take all the credit (I’ll et-tu-brutus them later)

To wrap this up, let’s just say: watch out for the villains out there.
They’re probably dumber than you are.